Mayan ApocalypseWell, we seem to have another apocalypse on our hands. Who knows…this might be the one, right?

Right.

It might be best just to prepare yourself, in case something does happen on the 23rd December 2012. So let’s see what you can do to increase your survivability when the world ends, again.

 

  1. 1.       Water

Water is the source of life, which might be in short supply when the world ends and huge radioactive slugs start eating buildings, water plants and elephants. Fill your tub to the top with water, as well as any other basins you can find. Buy vast amounts of alcoholic beverages, drink them and then fill them with water too.

 

  1. 2.       Shotguns

With the vast amount of radiation leaking out of power plants and cell phones after the doomsday, you will have to gear yourself up with anti-zombie weapons. Don’t even bother with a two barrel shotgun, who wants just two bullets before you have to reload right? Times have changed and so has technology. Say hello to my little friend, the Mk3A1 Jackhammer automatic shotgun. This baby has a 10 round automatic loading drum magazine and it fires 240 rounds per minute (impressive for a non assault weapon). You’ll be blasting zombies left, right and centre without breaking a sweat. Remember the double tap rule when zombies do rear their ugly heads.

 

  1. 3.       Create call signs and have cool catch phrases

If you and your friend survive, then you have to have a walkie-talkie and call signs. Nothing is as boring as turning on your radio and shouting “Bogeys at 12 o’clock Jonathan”. Lame. Rather use awesome call signs such as “Frost, Ghost, Chuck Norris and Stardust (if your friend is a girl)”.

Don’t be left standing there after you pop a huge radioactive slug. Memorise some cool catch phrases so that your friends (who are still alive) will be impressed. Write them on your hand if you have short term memory loss.

  1. 4.       Before the apocalypse starts, find a place to bunk down.

As you walk to school, college or work, keep an eye out for any buildings nearby which will be easily defendable, have lots of food and will have enough space for a moat. Ifthere’s one thing that watching all those post-apocalyptic movies and games have taught me, it’s to never, ever go to the mall and bunk down.  Rather use it as a hunting ground when food runs low.

 

  1. 5.       Get awesome cars

The apocalypse isn’t all bad when you can have your pick of super sport cars. Drive a new car everyday to keep your driving skills honed when you need to dodge a meteorite, or running away from rivers of lava.

  1. 6.       Load up on long-life food.

Whoever said canned food was the best apocalyptic food was wrong.  Stack up on honey, which has an inexhaustible shelf life, as well as Twinkies, which have a life expectancy of 10,000 years. I’d rather eat those than be stuck in a room with my friends and thousands of cans of baked beans.

 

If the world doesn’t end then you’ll at least be prepared for the next time the world might end, or even after that! Be prepared and always remember to double tap.

 

Ruan Smit is an experienced copywriter who enjoys writing about exciting new activities in different cities like limo hire cape town or limo hire johannesburg to celebrate life.

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